“When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn’t make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better. “It’s all right” we whisper, “I’m here, I love you.” and we lie: “I’ll never leave you.” For just a moment or two the darkness doesn’t seem so bad.”
— Neil Gaiman, Neil Gaiman’s Midnight Days

I go by the name bobo
All I do is sit around and eat and be sad, I'm basically a more annoying version of a plant.
I'm also extremely obsessed with cats.
And going out with a phat potato

'I'm not going to tell you to get over it, I'm going to help your through it.'

Alice
Anita
Fionaa
Danni
My better half
Tammy
Wendy

Layout by Caye.
Graphics from TheFadingNight.
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I turn 19 in a couple of months and I feel as if as the day gets closer and closer the more I dread the actual day to come. Its not because I think I'm 'getting old,' (hell no, I'm still very young) but I feel as if my youth is being wasted away doing nothing in particular. I've matured way too quickly and I've found myself slowly filling up the shoes of an adult. 

Despite still being extremely dependent, I do not pay any rent or bill and pretty much still live under some sort of parental guidance the prime days of my youth have seemed to reach some sort of dead end. I watch as 15 year olds go clubbing and party as if they will die the next day while I work or go out and pretty much just walk around doing nothing particular. I find myself window shopping the same things so much to the point when I actually do come around to buying it, its not longer sold or sold out completely in my size. Its happened so many times in 2015 and I'm sure it'll just continue happening in 2016. I understand that if I buy everything I want I will be the biggest hoarder and seriously clothes come and go, things I would wear now I probably won't wear a couple of years down the track so I guess in a way I'm saving myself money. 

But hey not even a month into 2016, and I feel as if 2016 is already testing my limits. The more I suppress my wants, the further I drown into this never ending whirlpool of overthinking and anxiety. I don't think these thoughts will ever go away, but now I feel as if they're screaming at me every minute of the day. Why am I not doing this? Why aren't treated like this? Why am I different from everyone else? I watch as people are loved and enjoy the prime of their youth while I slowly grow older and older everyday barely doing anything particularly youthful. I'm not saying I'm not loved, I am, and I know I am. My boyfriend loves me in his own special way, but I feel as if as everyday goes on the more unsatisfied I am with my life in general and I continuously watch others live with burning jealousy. 

Especially with a crappy birthday last year and working Christmas Day I feel as if the days I consider so monumental and special in the past is just any other day now; especially my birthday. How sad is it to plan out a day to do all the things that you think will make you happy and your birthday memorable? Shouldn't everyday be memorable. One does not a certain day to treat someone else particularly better right? Shouldn't a person be treated special everyday of their lives???

Recently I've gotten another tattoo, people will ask me hey does it hurt? Or what does it look like? Does it mean anything in particular? To be honest everytime I get a tattoo it gives me every reason not to go back for another one. I tend to choose to get my tattoos at all the spots that are particularly 'more' painful and its just pretty much a sweaty hour with someone cutting into my skin. It is painful but nothing not withstandable, but hey anythings better than me cutting in my own skin right?